Love, as we all know, is a risk. A risk we all like to take. What you can gain from love is infinite, but what you can lose is just as great. In a breakup, sometimes you feel as though you have lost it all. The positivity seems like it has been erased from your world. You eat a gallon of ice cream. You sob and you sit in front of the TV. You may or may not yearn for retribution. Whatever your coping methods may be, it’s a terrible time, but believe it or not, every breakup has an upside. A breakup can be a truly constructive experience and often, a turning point in a young person’s life. Here’s how:
Look good. Feel good. Repeat.
Initially, a breakup can be the easiest excuse to hop into bed with the next best thing – pizza. Other good coping foods include ice cream, chocolate, cookies – pick your poison. Whatever it may be, it’s okay to indulge a bit, but don’t let yourself get stuck moping. No matter what transpired in your relationship or breakup, the best revenge will always be to look and feel better than you did when you were with your ex.
So, let your breakup be the kick-starter to a new healthy lifestyle. Decide what your health and fitness goals are, and go! Let your endorphins run wild! If you stay fit, you will release your anger and frustrations while you look and feel like a million bucks. Eating well and exercising will also improve your mood and energy. As a result, you won’t feel as overwhelmed by the weight of your breakup.
So long, comfort zone
Comfort is what you truly seek in a relationship. You want the comfort of emotional security and you want a “best friend” to give it to you. When you finally get that, it’s hard to let go, not just because you loved them, but because your sense of comfort is lost. You need to recognize your exit from your comfort zone as a positive. If you should let a breakup have any lasting effect on you, please let that effect be growth.
However frightening it may be, you’re finally out of your comfort zone! Take the negative, uncomfortable feelings this breakup has forced upon you and allow them to propel you into the next level. Let your breakup motivate you. Explore your full potential. Take this time to learn or develop new interests. Take a risk or make a leap. Challenge yourself more than you ever have. Don’t just grow as an individual – flourish by any means.
Often, we struggle to find balance between personal success and the success of our relationship. In youth, we find it especially difficult because the early stages of a relationship are defined by being irresponsibly in love. Naturally, we make decisions that keep our relationship whole – even if the decision is not practical. Perhaps you chose a closer school. Maybe you turned down a job promotion. Maybe you are just spending too much time with your other half to devote any time to your passions and your goals. Maybe you don’t want to admit that you’ve done this, but even in some miniscule way – you have.
It’s nothing to be ashamed over. After all, relationships require some level of compromise. When you are single, you’re not forced to choose between a relationship or personal progression. Every day you wake up and you choose to focus on yourself. Devote your day to your success. Be selfish! One day you’ll meet your soulmate and the struggle to find the balance will start all over again. But for now, take all the time you need to work on your own progress. Let yourself be great!
Re-evaluate your #RelationshipGoals
A break-up can be the perfect time to stop and really think about what you want and expect out of a relationship. Break-ups hurt, but they make for damn good learning experiences. Really try to understand what it is you want. More importantly, what do you deserve? What can you handle? Often, we find ourselves deep in a relationship unable to handle a certain circumstance that could have been avoided. For example, maybe one long-distance relationship is one too many for you. Keep in mind the things you can’t handle, the “deal breakers”. By doing this, you’re able to create better expectations for your future relationships. The better attune you are to your #relationshipgoals, the easier it will be to have a successful one.