Nomi Leasure On… Not Settling And Knowing Your Worth: I recently found nudes of other girls on my boyfriend of 1.5 years laptop – in the most recent files section. They’re all boobs – in my opinion he’s a boob guy – but I’m an A cup, so is it justified? What’s most puzzling is that he says he loves me, has me all over social media, and his friends talk about how much he praises me. So why is he still getting nudes from other girls? I haven’t confronted him about this because I’m afraid to lose him. What do I do? – Anonymous
Dear A Cup with a Double D Problem,
Your boyfriend is hiding more than a folder full of tatas.
I think it’s safe to assume that these tits belong to female human beings whom your boyfriend is having less-than-decent textual relations with. These are his digital sidechicks. They are his “something on the side,” his goomahs – his way to play dirty while appearing to keep his hands clean. On social media and what not.
Your boyfriend wants to have his cake, cake, cake and eat it too. He keeps up the appearances of a doting, loyal boyfriend because he’s ashamed of the truth. He’s worse than the type of scum who is just unapologetically scum – he’s a turd with a spritz of Axe calling itself a gentleman.
You should not only confront him, you should dump his sorry, teat-loving ass. Then he can drown in sweaty cleavage for all you care, because you and your dainty bosom are off to find a lover who appreciates your form in all it’s God given glory.
Unless you and he have previously discussed an open relationship, or the possibility of looser boundaries to your monogamy, what your boyfriend is doing is lying to you, deceiving you, potentially physically cheating on you, and undermining you and your relationship.
My barely-Bs are bouncing furiously as I type this because you have unwittingly body shamed yourself and reduced yourself to nothing but a man’s fantasy in flesh form and it makes me so crazy that young women do this to themselves.
FORGET the body type that your boyfriend is most into.
FORGET the notion that your body should look like anything other than what it does and this trash dude who has somehow made you feel ashamed of what you look like.
And FORGET the notion that because a man makes you feel less than perfect you are somehow deserving of being used.
Because honestly, you are being used. Sure, he says he loves you. And maybe some part of him does. Maybe he means all these amazing things he says to his friends about you. But words amount to a fistful of dry dogshit when it all comes down to it, and his friends are likely in on the coverup. A person who loves you does not deceive you, hide things from you, and CONSTANTLY GET NUDES FROM OTHER GIRLS! And, as we’re seeing play out in sexual harassment cases around the globe, men will always protect other men when it comes to covering up their lecherous behaviour.
There is one scenario in which this would be okay, and it is not your scenario:
You have had an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about his sexual proclivities and consented verbally to his downloading, viewing, and whatever may commence henceforth, of women with big breast. Women, I might add, whom he does not know personally and who do this sort of thing for a living, because indulging a partner’s sexual fantasy is perfectly fine and totally healthy, so long as all parties involved are comfortable with the situation at hand.
Alas, that is not the case here and we must press forward with our original line of reasoning which is: Your boyfriend sucks and is a lying creep.
I’m curious as to how you saw these photos. If you perchance were snooping (I’ll say I’m sensing a little snoop here) that means you had a suspicion something was amiss. In your gut you thought, hmm let’s just take a look and see what’s here in this most recent files folder… And you probably did it while he was in the shower.
They say the person who snoops will always find something because they want to find something. What you were doing was looking for evidence to corroborate a hunch you had; a hunch you were trying to drown out in all the “I love you’s” your boyfriend was telling you. You wanted to believe it wasn’t true.
Our guts are never wrong. Never. Not when it comes to this sort of thing. Women have an almost other worldly super power to sniff out the faintest whiff of infidelity. Whatever the reason was, you felt like something was wrong in your relationship and that your boyfriend was not being honest and faithful and guess what, he’s not.
He’s not going to change and he’s broken your trust. Your boobs are perfect, small tits look better in clothes, and guess what they won’t sag or give you back problems, so you and your strong, healthy spine should march right up to your boyfriend, flash those itty-bitty-titties and say “TAKE A GOOD LOOK ASSHOLE BECAUSE YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO SEE THESE, OR ME, EVER-FUCKING-AGAIN.”