After several years of watching countless relationships both prosper and deteriorate, I’ve found that contrary to popular belief there are several ways to speak love, give love and feel love. While many believe that love is a feeling and an emotion, I find that love is actually more of a language, and finding your love language is important.
Love is a way to not only express your feelings toward someone, but also to really show them.
The biggest ways that your love can be shown is through the five main love languages. These languages consist of words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.
Words of affirmation as a love language, is much like what it sounds. It’s a way to express love emotionally, with words that are used to build others up. Words of affirmation can consist of compliments, words of appreciation or any powerful and positive communicator of love you know your partner enjoys. Words of affirmation are best when expressed in a simple and straightforward way.
Quality time as a language exists in giving your partner your uninterrupted and undivided attention. Time is a precious commodity, so a lot of progress can be made by spending actual quality time with a significant other. However, quality time can be a tricky one because while many see spending time with their partner as something as simple as watching Netflix, quality time actually revolves more around time spent with devices put away, time where you can truly look into your partners eyes and have meaningful conversations.
Much of what is written on love speaks to the fact that at the heart of love, is the spirit of giving.
This is why receiving gifts is another love language and often times the love language that speaks the loudest. Receiving gifts makes us feel good. Not so much in the way that money was spent on them but more in the way of “it’s the thought that counts” and if you receive a gift, you must’ve definitely been on your lovers mind.
Acts of service is the fourth love language. The meaning of acts of service is doing things you know your partner would like you to do. You seek to please them by doing things for them. Often times, acts of service as a love language requires that we examine our perspectives and sometimes change our roles or stereotypes to express this love more effectively. Acts of service relates very much so to the “actions speak louder than words” saying.
Last is physical touch. It is quite possibly the most common way people choose to communicate love. Holding hands, cuddling, affectionate kisses on the forehead are what some people perceive to really indicate love. Knowing the five love languages, is crucial for healthy relationships with yourself and others.
Knowing your love language is not something geared only for significant others, but they can work with friends and family as well.
It’s important to know and understand love languages and the ways they work because it’s still very possible that even though these are the ways many people feel loved, you might not fall into any of these categories. While not falling into any of the five categories is perfectly fine, it’s also important in the process that remains to finding your true and actual love language.
The five love languages show that there is a diverse way to love and feel loved, so not falling into any of them or more than one of them is more than okay. Once you realise, you will be more open to finding exactly what your language truly is.
Many people have a tough time finding what their love language is until they get into a relationship that doesn’t provide the language they speak. That’s why it’s so crucial to experiment with love until you find what’s right for you and just how you want to be loved.